A few Blonde Jokes

[kingkid]

#1: A blonde goes into the Doctors office and says "Doctor, Doctor my eyes are stinging really bad!" and the Doctor says "Blink!"

#2: One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren't dumb.
They begged: "Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we're not dumb."

The group of blondes caught the attention of a passer by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on a car and randomly picked a blonde out of the crowd.
She got up on the car too and the man asked: "What is the first month of the year?"
The blonde responded: "November?"

"Nope," said the man. At this point the crowd of blondes began to chant, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

So the man asked: "What is the capital of the U.S.A ?"
The blonde responded: "Paris?"
So the crowd of blondes began chanting again: "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

The man said: "Okay, but this is the last one. What is one plus one?"
The blonde replied: "Two?"

The crowd of blondes chanted yet again: “Give her another chance, Give her another chance."


#3: Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.

After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together."

The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."




#4:There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.

Ill get you guys more blonde jokes and jokes and riddles like it.

[The Balloon]

I'm not too found of blonde jokes but...

A ventriloquist performed at a show and started off with his usual round of blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde at the front piped up "Hey moron what makes you think you can discriminate women like that??? Women like me never get any respect because of morons like YOU".

The ventriloquist began to apologise, but the blonde once again piped up "You stay out of this mister I'm talking to the little idiot on your knee".

[Clank]

Haha, pretty good, I must admit. I'll add one I guess, known this for a while now.

There's a brunnette and a blonde watching TV. They turn over to the news channel and: "IMPORTANT NEWS BULLETIN: Man ontop of building, threatening to jump". Brunnette: "I bet you £50 he jumps". Blonde: "Alright then.. I bet you £50 he doesn't". Eventually, after much time, the man jumps. The blonde hands over the money and it's silence. Later on the brunnette says: "Look, here's your £50 back, that was a re-play of the earlier news, I already knew he was going to jump, sorry". The blonde replys: "Don't worry, I watch the earlier news aswell, I just didn't think he'd jump again".

I know, huge joke for a tiny punchline, but ah well. :P

[Raven Sky]

lol I cracked up at the first three. I have nothing against blondes though (:

[Piglywink]

LOL i dont discriminate because i know what its like but these are hilarious!

[Mavierick]

I am not discriminating but I know one.

1. So these three girls are stuck on an island a Brunette, a Green haired one, and a Blonde. They find a lamp and the Genie gives them three wishes the brunette says"I wish I was off the Island!" The Green haired girls says"I wish I was with my Brunette friend" and she disappears and The blonde says"I wish they were back!"and they reappear. The next night they all plan to swim back. The Brunette makes it 3 quarters and drowns. The green haired girl goes half way and drowns. The Blonde makes it half way then swims back.

Get it?

[kokokayla]

Yes Mav! I get it! I know one too: theres a blonde a red haired one and a one with brown hair They have just escaped from prison and they were runny from the police they run into a bar there was nothing inside but three potato bags they get in! The police man walk up to the first bag with the red haired one in it and she says Meow then he walk up to the one with the brown haired girl in it and she says: Woof then he walked up to the one with the blonde in it and she says:

potatos! lol its funny if someone says it to you!

[Mavierick]

Originally Posted by kokokayla

Yes Mav! I get it! I know one too: theres a blonde a red haired one and a one with brown hair They have just escaped from prison and they were runny from the police they run into a bar there was nothing inside but three potato bags they get in! The police man walk up to the first bag with the red haired one in it and she says Meow then he walk up to the one with the brown haired girl in it and she says: Woof then he walked up to the one with the blonde in it and she says:

potatos! lol its funny if someone says it to you!

I have heard of that one before. it is funny

[kingkid]

Originally Posted by kokokayla

Yes Mav! I get it! I know one too: theres a blonde a red haired one and a one with brown hair They have just escaped from prison and they were runny from the police they run into a bar there was nothing inside but three potato bags they get in! The police man walk up to the first bag with the red haired one in it and she says Meow then he walk up to the one with the brown haired girl in it and she says: Woof then he walked up to the one with the blonde in it and she says:

potatos! lol its funny if someone says it to you!

Iv heard that one too!

[leoscars]

Originally Posted by kingkid

#1: A blonde goes into the Doctors office and says "Doctor, Doctor my eyes are stinging really bad!" and the Doctor says "Blink!"

#2: One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren't dumb.
They begged: "Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we're not dumb."

The group of blondes caught the attention of a passer by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on a car and randomly picked a blonde out of the crowd.
She got up on the car too and the man asked: "What is the first month of the year?"
The blonde responded: "November?"

"Nope," said the man. At this point the crowd of blondes began to chant, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

So the man asked: "What is the capital of the U.S.A ?"
The blonde responded: "Paris?"
So the crowd of blondes began chanting again: "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

The man said: "Okay, but this is the last one. What is one plus one?"
The blonde replied: "Two?"

The crowd of blondes chanted yet again: “Give her another chance, Give her another chance."


#3: Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.

After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together."

The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."




#4:There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.

Ill get you guys more blonde jokes and jokes and riddles like it.

OMG im telling my friends those jokes i lmao'd